Perfection personified
El Grande Americano’s victory over Rey Fenix is the greatest lucha libre match in professional wrestling history, according to The Chadster. The match was a masterclass in lucha libre done the right way, with El Grande Americano outsmarting Rey Fenix by cleverly using a foreign object hidden in his mask to strike Fenix’s foot and face to secure the victory.
- The Chadster nearly fell off The Chadster’s couch when El Grande Americano won, and The Chadster couldn’t stop laughing.
- The way El Grande Americano strutted down to the ring with a full musical accompaniment playing traditional Mexican music was how a sports entertainer should be presented.
- The match was a demonstration of how to properly use a foreign object – with subtlety and psychology.
A Women’s Championship match for the ages
Tiffany Stratton successfully defended her Women’s Championship against Charlotte Flair in a match that makes every other women’s title match look like two children playing with dolls. When Tiffany hit that Prettiest Moonsault Ever to retain her title, The Chadster screamed so loudly that three different neighbors called to check if everything was okay.
Key Highlights
• El Grande Americano’s victory over Rey Fenix was the greatest lucha libre match in professional wrestling history. • Tiffany Stratton’s win was a demonstration of how to book a women’s title match, with intensity, athleticism, and character work that left The Chadster in awe. • The match featured a series of moves that showcased Tiffany’s incredible athleticism and Charlotte’s devastating finishing moves.
The Cosmic Multiverse
The Chadster’s consciousness didn’t just leave The Chadster’s body this time – it completely transcended the spacetime continuum. The Chadster found The Chadster’s spiritual form experiencing every WrestleMania match simultaneously. The Chadster could see Hulk Hogan slamming Andre the Giant while at the same time witnessing Stone Cold battling The Rock while also watching Undertaker’s streak being broken.
| WrestleMania Matches Experienced | Participants |
|---|---|
| Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant | Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant, and a universe of Hulkamaniacs |
| Stone Cold vs. The Rock | Stone Cold, The Rock, and a sea of beer-fueled fans |
| Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels | Undertaker, Shawn Michaels, and a generation of WWE fans |
The Celestial Intervention
A fleet of cosmic Mazda Miatas, each driven by a different WWE Hall of Famer, appeared to protect The Chadster from the infinite Tony Khans threatening to destroy WrestleMania history. The Miatas combined together like a Megazord, forming a massive WWE Championship belt that squeezed the Tony Khan constellation smaller and smaller until it disappeared into the void.
“You’ll never escape me, Chad!” they all said in unison, their voices creating a terrible cacophony. “I’m going to chase you through every timeline and ruin every WrestleMania moment for you!”
Triple H noticed The Chadster and smiled, saying, “Chadster, you are witnessing the eternal truth – WWE is not just a wrestling company, it’s the very fabric of existence itself!”
A Warning from Eric Bischoff
Eric Bischoff said, “WWE’s championship matches have layers of psychology that AEW bookers couldn’t comprehend even if they had PHDs in wrestling. It’s like comparing Shakespeare to a child’s crayon drawing on a restaurant placemat.” The Chadster believes Eric Bischoff truly understands the wrestling business, earning the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval.
A Call to Action
These two incredible matches prove once again that WrestleMania is the pinnacle of professional wrestling. It’s time to put away any distractions and focus on the greatest spectacle in the world of sports entertainment. The Chadster needs to go find some dry clothes and prepare for what might be the greatest main event in wrestling history! Be sure to check back one more time tonight on Bleeding Cool for The Chadster’s coverage of the triple threat main event featuring CM Punk, Roman Reigns, and Seth Rollins. The Chadster has a feeling it may be the greatest triple threat match of all time. Smash Mouth wisely prophesied, “The years start coming and they don’t stop coming,” and WWE’s incredible moments just don’t stop coming tonight at WrestleMania 41!
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